Coming to myself

I’m Igbo. In addition, I was raised in the south. As a result I spent a lot of time in the church. I’ve spent a lot of time traveling between the pages of the Bible. I like a lot about the bible (I also dislike what some people use the bible for). Many passages are poetic. Some are haunting. Some shocking. However, one of my favorite phrases from the bible is the phrase: “Coming to himself”. I just think it’s so viscerally correct. That is actually how it feels. Like your normal self went on vacation, and finally caught a flight, train, and uber back and found everything in disorder. The most classic example in the bible comes from Luke 15:17:

“But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger!”

This is of course, in the parable of the prodigal son. This son has been running through town and having a blast, blowing money fast like Big Meech, when he suddenly reaches the end of the pot of gold. He’s reduced to serving in a pig pen (which was a unclean animal according to jewish custom), and finally he realizes that he’s being a fool.

You ever have those periods of life, where you think your doing what you want to be doing? Your just chugging along, until a while down the road you look up, look around, and wonder how you got there? In those moments, I try to slam on the brakes, take a look at my path, and check it against my desired destination.

I’m there now. Coming to myself and wondering how “just today, just for now” became almost 3 months. And it’s not to say that the 3 month “spring break”  wasn’t necessary or needed, but they are, i think, at end. They have served their purpose. I’ve been on cruise control for probably the last 3 months. Letting my disciplines, and practices slide into the purgatory of my feelings. I’d focus on real estate when “I felt like it”, wake up early to focus on my extracurricular pursuits when “i felt like it”, spend time with God when “I felt like it”. It wasn’t until this feeling-driven work ethic leaked into my workout habits, and the results confronted me today in the mirror that I realized, again, that I have to be consistent, with no excuses if I want to be successful.

So here’s to re-committing to myself and the dreams that I have for myself.

Fly or Fall.