What you looking at?

I don’t know if I told you but I’ve been accepted into a residency. *waits for all the confetti to flutter to the floor*

Yea thanks. Anyway, because of this I’ve been in the process of transitioning from one setting (retail) to a more clinical environment.

At any job I like to …nevermind. To summarize: My last situation got a little sticky and I’m struggling to come to terms with some things I may not have taken care of to the best of my ability. Small issues really, and the blame isn’t all mine..but I choose to take it because its what I signed up for. Bottom line is – the situation at work was really starting to wear on my emotionally, until I saw a quote on a friends FB page.

Oh, yea, Sure I’ll share the quote:

“I freed thousands of slaves. I could have freed thousands more, if they had known they were slaves.” – Harriet Tubman
We can live in our current situation for so long that it becomes normal, and freedom is so far in the distant past that we forget what it even tastes like. Know that you were created to be free and not a slave to any addiction, depression, abuse, or even your past.

“For a person is a slave to whatever has mastered him/her.” (2 Peter 2:19) —– “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1)


While I’m don’t currently struggle with having metal shackles tied to my ankles, I do struggle with choosing freedom mentally. There are situations in my life that I’ve fooled myself or chosen to believe that I have no choice in. The truth is I’m only as enslaved as I choose to be. I’ve decided to let certain things enslave me..Which is crazy, especially after experiencing the freedom of God’s spirit.  Pure ridiculousness.  I blame the fact that sometimes bondage can dress up in confusing outfits: safety, comfort, love.

I literally felt the cuffs unlock once I re-realized that I was free and only a slave to things that I choose to be slave to. My whole day just did a 180 degree turn and I switched position from prisoner to captain of my soul (or at least a Ship who gives the rudder to a Good Captain).

I was lucky in that while it was still early in my enslavement I was able to recall the “taste” of freedom. Sometimes the emotional sensation of freedom is all the fuel you need to rearrange your world into its best conformation.

All that to say: If you change the way you look at things..the things you look at will change.

Fly or Fall.



Out of the Zone.

So last Sunday, I had the opportunity to give a sermon at my mentor’s church.

The whole experience was interesting. At first I was nervous, then I was focused, and when I finished the speech of course I felt a mixture of pride and nostalgia.

“Nostalgia?” you say. Well, not necessarily nostalgia, but something along those lines.  I started to miss certain aspects that were involved in getting ready to deliver the speech.

And as I ruminated on why I felt this odd mixture of nostalgia,I realized that the speech was something that allowed me to push myself, something that allowed me to explore a new talent, something that demanded that I leave my comfort zone.

I’m comfortable in my comfort zone. I hate my comfort zone.

Outside of the “C-Zone”

1. Being totally focused. Because I knew that my name/reputation was on the line with this very public performance I knew that I had to give it top priority. So after work, I’d attack the speech, seeking ways to improve it or just spend time practicing it. I had about a week and a half to prepare so the deadline wasn’t soo far in the future that I couldn’t feel the slight panic that comes with high pressure situations – which I love.

2. Having a clear concrete goal. The goal was clear = deliver a compelling message within 25-35 minutes. Don’t bore people.

3. Being deeply interested by the subject matter. Being emotionally involved in what I was asked to speak about was essential, as it laid the groundwork for me to be able to speak intelligently on what I was asked to address.

These elements – seem like a recipe for a success that would be appealing to me. I think if I could just get myself to set some better goals – goals that tied in these elements I would be able to get Ooodles more done. (yea oodles.)

New Goal: Schedule

Fly or Fall

oh yea the sermon: “Granny Smith Apples”