Endings are complicated. Even if they are happy endings, the feelings of loss can be tough to put your hands around.
I’m in the midst of one of those endings currently.
Over the next week I’ll be ending a job with an employer and trying to figure out what the next step is. This is the first job loss I’ve ever experienced as an adult.
Salient details include the fact that this job wasn’t due to performance issues, or anything personal. It was mostly related to market conditions and an organizational decision to restructure. The severance will allow plenty runway as I try to figure out the next steps for my family and I.
I find myself processing the feelings and cycling through emotions like relief, sadness, and a shadow feeling of loss that doesn’t match up with reality. It’s so interesting to try to look into the deep of my emotions and try to identify what is actually happening.
I’m trying to stay centered on a couple of facts as I try to figure out career-wise what to pivot into.
- God is not surprised by this development
- God knew and knows my responsibilities and the bills
- God is still God
I’m also trying to figure out how to balance the priorities of a growing family, work, ambition, and rest.
I know that at the end of the day- my biggest challenge will be resting in the strength of the Lord as he works everything out.
Thank you for allowing me to process aloud and I’m sure I’ll be back as I work through all of these feelings.
Fly or Fall.