I’ve been trying to keep a promise to God that I made a while back.
My Promise <– I made this promise probably close to about a year ago..unfortunately I stumbled…consistently.. for about a year until I came to a place where I finally decided that I should, could, and would strive to keep my promise. So if I've been a little distant ..i'm working on changing myself to be more respectful, a better honorer of women, and most importantly a Whole Man. Not the world's definition of a man..so I expect most to not understand. Which is Ok. As long as I love what I see in the mirror.
I’ve decided to take about a year away from the opposite sex. Yep, those blindingly beautiful, smart, supportive creatures that have no Y chromosomes. The creatures who raise our children, whose kisses can brighten the darkest of days, whose support keep our personal trade centers standing even after life throws 757’s at us.
Why? Why give up the company of these ephemeral creatures?
Because I’m not ready for them. At least not in the way that I think I should be. I going to be honest: for the latter part of my dating life – I have probably not been the guy you want your daughter to date. Not to say that I’ve been just slapping girls with baby powder and making them address me as Big Poppa – but honestly – I really had no intentions of wife’ing anyone. Sorry. Just wasn’t really in my plans. I’d find some reason to explain my sudden distance: history, Too much going on in my personal/educational/business life, fear of commitment, etc.
The truth is – all and none of these. My mindframe was just not/is not right for building the type of relationship that would be required to make a long term relationship a possibility.
I decided to do something about it.
I decided to do something different and hope that consequently I’d get something different as a result; because honestly – I do eventually want to have someone that I can do life with and trust wholeheartedly. I would like to take care of a woman and see that I support her dreams and hold her up when she’s weak. I would also like to have someone I can lean on when I feel less than stellar. Someone who won’t mind throwing some cream of mushroom soup on the stove when I’ve got a bad case of the flu. Who wouldn’t? And if they happen to look like Beyonce and cook like Gladys Knight… well, shucks – I wont be mad.
But I had to take a long look at myself and realize that I got some issues and some unrealized dreams that need my full attention and these foray’s into relationship land aren’t getting me to where I want to go.
*Raises Champagne glass* So here’s to me and my year or so – May I come out a stronger, better, wiser, and more caring Man. Going to shoot for the full six-pack as well. Why not?