Don’t Push me ..

“cuz i’m close to the edge”

So.. the other day I caught the tail end of CNN show that looked at a girl around my age who was living on the streets, who spent the day bumming money of passerby’s [with her friends] and using the money to get alcohol and get drunk. She had the ability to go get a job and/or go to school but when asked “why not?” She basically said: “Freedom” – “its cool not having bills, or having to report to a job where my boss yells at me” … and really..I couldn’t even be mad at her. That part of life or the American Dream is not what up.

And that made me think about a..

TED talk [] that I just watched the other day: The topic was talking about teaching our kids to be entrepreneur’s b/c the speaker did horrible at EVERY school he ever attended and had 18/19 of the signs of ADHD, but his dad recognized that he wouldn’t fit into the current American model of School -> Good Job. Instead he trained him from a young age to learn how to make money – without ever applying to get a job. So back to ole girl on the streets drinking – I KNOW that just like the rest of us she has a burning desire to make a difference/ To Live with Passion/ To EXPERIENCE this wonderful/amazing/messy/sad/desperate/Beautiful Mess that we’ve born into and find a way to improve upon it or leave some type of mark. But no one ever let her know there was a way – where she didn’t have to SUBJUGATE (thanks 1985nectar) her dreams of freedom to it. No one ever told her that by joining peace corps she could travel the world and help orphans in tibet, or that she could get her friends together and find legal ways to make money that don’t require an office, or ties, or memo’s, or fax cover letters. So in the end we just lose a creator/innovator to the streets and alcohol.

That pulled my mind in the direction of ..

My best friend. Who is currently living his dream. He’s not balling or anything. Yet. But he’s building something. And it’s something that is uniquely his. Something that no one can take away from him. Something that when he dies – others can look to and say “This is KP’s monument to himself. And Although its ultimately was for him – almost selfish – It helps me, it drives me, it inspires me.” I think that’s the true beauty of following your dreams. They become the food for other people’s dreams. And Lord knows that there isn’t enough food for dreams in the world today. Most popular culture is just fast food for the soul.

Which led me to think of ..

Revolutionary Road. The Movie. Have you seen it? Do you have dreams? If you said no to the first and Yes to the second question –> You need to watch that movie – and I hear the book is better: Its been put on my reading list. Anyway the whole premise of the movie is how the world reacts to people with dreams and how when dreams die – they may take you with them. [But please don’t cheat yourself into thinking that’s all you need to know about the movie – go check out the movie – $1 at the Redbox] And right now I’m feeling like one of the main characters. I’m doing the day to day thing right now – getting toward the Good JOB part of the equation mentioned above. And I’m not excited. I want sooo much more. And my problem is I’m not sure exactly how to translate this hunger into real results, or maybe I’m just afraid. I’m not sure. All I know is I cant stay in this place for much longer. I’m trying to breed a disgust with the status quo and find the impetus to push myself to where I want to be. I know I’m equal to any task that I set my mind to. Just gotta figure out what task I want it to be. Because the task the world is setting for me don’t make my blood rush, they don’t make me stay up at night dreaming of solutions, they don’t make me smile. I want sleep to be the last thing I want to do at the end of the day.
I have a preceptor – who is like that. She works 12 hour days – not because she is forced to.. but because she loves her job. Consequently she is the best at it. I’ve ever seen. Hands down. She can fit more information into a 30 minute conversation than some of my teachers could fit into a 4 hour class that met ever day for 5 weeks.

That’s how passionate I want to be about my work. My life. My future.
Lord Help Me.
I think this is a subject worth mucho prayer.
And even more action.

Fly or Fall.


2 thoughts on “Don’t Push me ..

  1. This blog was inspirational and well put. “Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent” (Calvin Coolidge) I apply this saying to my life with whatever I do. We have to stay focused in everything that we do in life and continuously do what it takes to achieve our goals. In order to reach self actualization (being at the “peak” of where we want to comfortably be in life), we have to have a determined mind and always remain persistent with what we set forth. The barrier of achieving what we want, is due to fear and many don’t realize it. I remember watching a movie called “The Cinderella Story” when I was younger and the movie sent out a message that said “never let the fear of striking out, keep you from winning the game” I didn’t quite understand that then, but as I grew, I applied it to my life. It means that you shouldn’t let fear put a damper on things that we face when trying to reach a self set goal. Sometimes those strikes gives us a boost to do better and teaches us things that we can use as a stepping stone to complete our future endeavors. I really liked the way you used your friend and Preceptor as an example of using what you have passion for, to make your career and life meaningful. Makes me think of reading my daily quotes of Ralph Waldo Emerson “The desire of gold is not for gold. It is for the means of freedom and benefit”. If you have the passion/desire/hunger/ and heart to do what you set forth to do, you can blossom right in it… It’s not the meaning of having a GOOD job, it’s having the job that is passionately GOOD for you and benefit from it. My teacher always told us “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade” You’ll be surprised at what you can do with so little even when things turn sour…

    Just wanted to collaborate on some of the points you voiced… (:

  2. this is beyond inspirational. and i know i can more than relate,

    “.. I’m not sure exactly how to translate this hunger into real results, or maybe I’m just afraid. I’m not sure. All I know is I cant stay in this place for much longer. I’m trying to breed a disgust with the status quo and find the impetus to push myself to where I want to be.”

    i want to be the best and i want to make things happen, the goals and dreams i have in my head. this life man…its somethin about a day to day that really sucks the motivation and inspiration out of a person. but we have to pray, we have to find the motivation and stop talkin about it (talkin mostly about and to myself here lol) and DO IT- PURSUE IT (too commercially sorry lol).

    you are an amazing individual. God knows, i can see it, we ALL can see it. im waiting for more great things to come that i know you are more than capable of. you know it too. lets continue to push each other!!

    im ready!

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