Mind Games.

Happy Friday! I’m going to throw a couple topics into the ether of the internet and hopefully find a couple that I want to riff on longer than others.

I might have mentioned that this week has been very long.

The 16 hours days are thankfully not too physically demanding. I’m not lifting heavy things or having to dig ditches outside. The real struggle has been mostly mental.

Maintaining the right frame of mind when putting in extended hours. I find my mind wanting to slip into a particular frame of reference that can be quite insidious. I’m going to try my best to describe the circumstances that bring it about and try to get my hands around the type of thoughts that bubble up from my subconscious.

First: The Environment

What is happening internally or externally that makes these thoughts more prevalent?

Boredom is a risk factor. When I’m doing something that is completely passive or that requires memorization or no active engagement from me I can find myself wanting to make decisions that would shorten the amount of time that I had originally committed to the activity.

Hunger is another risk factor. It’s funny because I don’t think I have a good gauge of what mild hunger feels like. I’m very familiar with ravenous hunger and total satiety but I think I struggle with the grey area between these two extremes.

Second: Results

When I’m beset by these thoughts I find that my immediate temptation is to cut short the activity that I’m currently endeavoring to complete. I’m tempted to try to seek the fastest shortcut to make the negative feelings disappear. Then I get disgusted that I’ve moved the goalposts that I initially set.

I can sometimes be dragged into a tug of war between my high expectations and the reality of how my body is experiencing the current activity.

It’s been interesting how fast these feelings can resolve with a bit of food, water, or a mindset vitamin- usually in the form of reminding myself of what the ultimate goal is for the activity and also hopefully being brutally honest on whether the activity is actually moving me toward the goals I’ve set for myself or is just a time-waster.

What is the balance between goal-focused intensity and “wholeness”. I’m operating under the assumption that “wholeness” for the most successful people is a myth and that they just apply intense levels of effort to the goals that they are pursuing. They also probably have learned to ignore or manage the physical discomfort that comes with high levels of effort.

I’m still navigating and learning how to manage these emotions and stressors.

And that will have to be enough.

What is the ultimate goal for the hard work that I’m undertaking?


Short Term (3-6 months):

Debt freedom with a lowercase d.

This year we celebrated our wedding and with it came a bill that seemed to balloon like Pennywise’s head in the last couple months before the actual event.

I hate debt.

We have around 18 months to knock out the consumer debt before our promotional 0% interest rate expires. I’ve taught too many financial freedom courses to fall victim to the usurious rates that are attached to these credit cards.

Medium Term(6-8 months):

I want to save up to take a data analysis bootcamp certification at a well known school in my region.

This course cost about $10k – which while not a huge sum will require some extra efforts as there are so many other start up costs to consider when starting a family.

  • Emergency Funds
  • Debt Paydown
  • Retirement Savings
  • Lifestyle expenditures
  • College Savings

So in order to keep some semblance of financial consistency – it’s going to require me to put in some serious effort to get all these things rolling before any other significant financial obligations present themselves (read: more children)

Reminding myself that I have both clear goals and some timeline constraints helps me to get refocused on the task at hand.

Long Term:

I’m not sure there is a long term objective with this particular level of effort.

I’m hoping that by accomplishing the goal that I’ve set above the end result will be skills that will continue to pave the way for more freedom.

Keep me in your prayers.

Fly or Fall


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.