So it seems that marriage and family will be topics that I hover over for the next couple of post as I try to talk aloud to myself and try to get a better understanding of where I am.

The sense of having ot locate yourself with these two institutions isn’t too far off, I don’t think.

These institutions are millenia old. Older than the church, older than most modern religions. Older than any standing building or arrangement of stones.

With the momentum they’ve gathered – it’s no wonder people can feel either, crushed under their weight, lost in their movement, or simply feel that they’ve gone out of style and need a Generation now makeover. America itself seems to be perpetually having and identity crisis, it’s fascination with the now and urgent often placing it at odds with the old, staid, traditions of yore.

This is a boon for a country who like to play act that it is actually a company.

This is perhaps not so good for the people and families who seek to find solid footing and support as they embark upon the age-old tradition of raising a family.

I now find myself in that number, and the difference in perspective is startling.

What is the objective of tonight’s missive?

I’m not sure. Perhaps it’s just to plant a flag in the grass as an orientation maneuver. To declare where I am at this very millisecond with the understanding that I’m gestating information, different viewpoints, and seeking understanding and wisdom. With this new wisdom I’m hopeful that I’ll be able to look back and see where the tectonic plates of truth take me.

I’m married.

I’ve been married for 1.5 years and I think I’m just now understanding that there is a deeper game afoot in the pursuit of a healthy, whole marriage. This game, for me, includes a curious bait and switch. I’m finding that in order for me to work on my marriage, I must actually not focus too much on my marriage in its current form. I actually must turn my attention towards a higher purpose. For me this is found in the seeking of God and his plan for my life. In that pursuit I find that I am able to access the strength to make some of the changes necessary to survive and potentially to thrive inside a marriage.

At least that is my working theory. I’m smack dab in the middle of testing this hypothesis.

Will report back.

Fly or Fall.