This is that 4-ever sh*t.

I just read a quote from Seth Godin that read “Your position on just about everything, including, yes, your salary, your stock options, your credit card debt, and your mortgage are almost certainly based on the story you tell yourself, not some universal fact from the universal fact database.”

Truth. Fact: my parents emigrated to America with less to their name than I have ever had. The story they believed: “America is the land of opportunity. With a dollar and a dream you can do anything you put your mind to.” This story was passed along to me. Its shaped the foundation for my life.

-“Higher education is the key to a successful life”
-“My life has a purpose”
-“Family is most important”

These stories have and will continue to shape me. However, there are some stories that I need to root out. There are even subplots that are part of good stories that limit me. Stories that have been given to me or that I’ve picked up via media, friends, or that were unspoken. These stories, are not helpful and mostly hurtful.

-“There is a glass ceiling/limit set by others on how much I can achieve”
-“I can accomplish more if I’m in control of all aspects of my life”
-“Asking for help is a weakness”
-“Strength in a relationship is equal to how easily you can leave it without being hurt”

One of my favorite bible verses is “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life” – Proverbs 4:23.
My heart = the stories you believe about yourself.

Fly or Fall.

thought this was dope

Yea.

My relationship with love is like some kids and disney characters.
I love seeing it from afar, on TV or Movie screens..
But if I was to ever see it up close and personal – I’d probably run screaming for the hills.

I’m at a Starbucks. 20 minutes ago, It was blazing hot outside. Muggy too. If you stood outside for 2 minutes you’d look like you were doing yard work in inappropriate clothes. 10 minutes ago, I noticed the suspicious clouds approaching from the west. 5 minutes ago, the smaller trees converted to Islam..they started bowing east. 2 minutes ago potential energy changed to kinetic, the raindrops got too heavy for updrafts to keep them sequestered in the heavens. Now I’m in the middle of a beautiful storm. I watch the people leaving Olive Garden try to brave the storm. They were rewarded with umbrella’s that turned in their pink slips. Ambulances and Firetrucks speed toward the heart of the storm. The World is capricious and much mightier than I am.

Listening to Hillsong United: Aftermath
“But I know – that your with me and I know – your love will light the way.”

Amen.

Fly or Fall.

A couple of months ago, I was at a Hibachi place with some of my fellow graduates. We were all enjoying ourselves..Flush with excitement and bubbly with the enjoyment of each others company. I think we were just a couple hours from the end of our last class before graduation. This particular Hibachi dinner was especially exciting, the Chef was amazing..he threw rice balls for us to catch with our mouths no homo and the each bite of teriyaki shrimp fried chicken marsala egg rolls was made sweeter by the fact that we were close to the end of a four-year goal. Right before we adjourned and headed back to class, we all decided to get our fortune cookies. Everyone opened their cookies and most of us were pleasantly surprised by deep chinese philosophical insights like:
“Your life will be better if you open your heart”
“Your true love may have died in a freak car accident when he was 12”
“Today, smell both the roses..and the fertilizer”
and my personal favorite: “Your lucky numbers are: 05 68 12”
However, when I opened my fortune cookie and glanced down ..I literally felt my heart drop. My fortune went a lil like: “Okenna, Don’t be satisfied with the easier route”. I swore it had my middle name in there as well. Anyway – i felt a little convicted. I had recently made a career choice that pushed me in the direction of work that was much less intellectually stimulating/demanding but paid a very decent wage. And I could not for the life of me figure out why I failed to pursue an opportunity that had been put in front of me.

Anyway, after that letter from God in the heart of a fortune cookie, I realized that I have to make sure that I don’t continue to cheat myself. I need to push myself always. I can’t let opportunities slip by just because they make me uncomfortable. So being me, I made a list of the hardest things for me to do at the moment that would make me uncomfortable. I’m going to try to re-write this list every 2-3 days, and do one HARD thing everyday.
My HARD things aren’t necessarily all career related ..some of them are just working on being honest with my emotions toward certain people. Or not holding my tongue and Making time for a conversation that should have happened. Emailing past business acquaintances that I’ve let slip. Creating space between me and people who aren’t adding to my life. smh.
Its Hard. And I’m sure Ima fail more than I succeed but I’m looking forward to the movement that this will create in my life.
..Here’s to the Harder things in life worth fighting for.

Fly or Fall.